You’re Not Broken. You’re Just Made of Many Parts.
Have you ever felt like there’s a war happening inside of you?
Maybe part of you wants to slow down and rest, while another part insists you push through. Maybe there’s a part that spirals into shame, and another that numbs with snacks, scrolling, or overwork. Maybe you’ve even tried to “get rid of” a part—only to find it coming back stronger.
You’re not crazy. And you’re definitely not broken.
What you’re feeling is the natural response of a system that’s been doing its best to hold itself together. It’s the impact of old pain, of survival strategies that once served you, now playing out in ways that might feel confusing or out of alignment. And it’s something that can be met—not with shame, but with compassion.
This is the heart of Internal Family Systems (IFS): a healing modality that sees you not as a problem to be solved, but as a system of parts longing to be seen, understood, and held.
Welcome to Your Inner System
IFS, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz over 40 years ago, is a trauma-informed model that helps us understand the inner mosaic of voices, impulses, and emotions that live within. In IFS, we don’t try to silence these parts. We get curious about them. We build relationships. And we invite our true Self—the calm, clear, compassionate leader within—to step forward.
Your inner system isn’t a pathology. It’s wisdom in disguise.
When we work with parts instead of against them, healing happens. A client once told me, “It’s like I finally stopped trying to win a battle, and started listening to my own army.” That’s the magic of this work.
The Self: Your Inner Leader
In IFS, there’s a word for the essence at the core of each of us: Self. It’s not a part—it’s the field that holds them all. Self is who you are beneath the trauma, beneath the noise. And when you’re in Self, you lead your internal system from a place of calm, compassion, and connection.
The 8 qualities of Self (the “8 Cs”)—calmness, clarity, courage, curiosity, compassion, confidence, creativity, and connection—aren’t ideals to strive for. They’re already in you. IFS just helps you uncover them.
When Self is in the lead, your parts begin to relax. They start to trust. And often, they’re ready to let go of the roles they’ve been stuck in for years.
Protector Parts: The Ones Who Keep You Going
Protector parts are the ones who run the show. They manage, they hustle, they defend. They might look like the overachiever, the people-pleaser, the numbing strategist, the one who always has a plan.
These parts learned long ago how to keep you safe. And even now, when the danger is long gone, they’re still on duty—just in case.
One client of mine discovered a part that kept pushing her to achieve at all costs. As we got curious, she saw it wasn’t just about ambition. This part believed that success meant safety, that praise meant love. It had been protecting a much younger part that felt invisible and afraid.
When she met it with compassion, the part softened. It didn’t have to push so hard anymore. It even joked that it wanted to hang out in a library and read books for fun—something she hadn’t made space for in years. And just like that, her system began to breathe.
Exiles: The Ones Who Carry the Pain
Behind every protective strategy is often an exile—a part that holds the original wound. The grief, the shame, the fear, the unmet need.
Exiles are the parts we’ve tried to lock away. Not because they’re bad—but because they hurt. Because they carry moments that were too much to bear at the time. And our system, in its brilliance, found ways to keep us going.
But exiles don’t disappear. They live inside, waiting. Calling out in dreams, in symptoms, in sudden emotional spirals. And when we finally meet them—from Self, with reverence—they get to release what they’ve been carrying. This is what we call unburdening.
It’s not about reliving trauma. It’s about witnessing it with love, so it no longer runs the show.
What Healing Actually Looks Like
Healing in IFS isn’t about “fixing” parts or becoming a more ideal version of yourself. It’s about becoming more you. More Self-led. More connected to your inner wisdom.
Sometimes that looks like an anxious part no longer flooding you every time you rest. Sometimes it looks like an angry part finally being heard—and no longer needing to blow things up to get your attention. Sometimes it’s subtle, like suddenly wanting to spend time in nature, or finally setting that boundary you’ve been avoiding.
And sometimes, the healing is profound. Clients who’ve worked with me have reported sleeping through the night for the first time in years, ending cycles of addictive behavior, and—most importantly—reclaiming a sense of wholeness they thought they’d lost.
What to Expect in a Session
IFS work is spacious, intuitive, and deeply respectful. In a session, I’ll guide you inward with gentle curiosity. You don’t need to “know” your parts or do anything right. All you need is a willingness to explore.
We might meet your inner critic, your avoider, your achiever, or a part that hasn’t spoken in years. We’ll listen. We’ll build trust. And as parts begin to feel safe, they’ll start to share their stories, their fears, their burdens—and their gifts.
When the system is ready, a part may release what it’s been carrying. This could happen through metaphor (placing its burden in water or fire), through image, or simply through a felt shift in the body. Clients often report feeling lighter, clearer, more like themselves.
That’s not a coincidence. That’s integration.
Why This Work Matters
In a world that teaches us to override our feelings, numb our pain, and hustle over our needs, IFS invites us into sacred relationship—with ourselves.
It teaches us that the parts we’ve tried to exile are actually the ones longing to be seen. It reminds us that healing is possible not through control, but through connection. Not through effort, but through presence.
And most powerfully—it shows us that the calm, wise, compassionate Self we’ve been seeking… is already here.
IFS Can Support You With:
Processing trauma without re-traumatization
Healing anxiety, depression, and emotional overwhelm
Shifting addictive patterns and compulsions
Navigating burnout or life transitions
Understanding your triggers and reactivity
Building a relationship with your inner child
Releasing shame and self-judgment
Making decisions from clarity and inner trust
Improving relationships by healing attachment wounds
Feeling more at ease in your body, your life, your Self
And perhaps most importantly: IFS helps you remember that you are whole, even if parts of you don’t believe it yet.
If you’re curious about this work—if some part of you is whispering, maybe this is what I need—I’d love to connect.
Book a free consult to see if we’re a good fit.
All parts of you are welcome here.
With love,
Tugce
