What a square in your birth chart can teach you about the parts of you pulling in different directions.
Have you ever written a message where you finally say what you mean, then edited it until the person receiving it could reasonably have no idea what you want? Maybe you change “I’d like” to “I was wondering.” You add “if that works for you.” By the time you hit send, you’ve put more care into imagining their reaction than into the thing you wanted to say.
I’m interested in what happens in the few seconds between writing that first sentence and reaching for the delete key. Who wrote the sentence? Who came back to soften it? And what might you learn if you could hear from both?
On November 10, I joined astrologer and intuitive healer Tracey Renee McKee for her Fall Sacred Connections Forum, where I taught a workshop on Cosmic Self-Leadership, a free session exploring the intersection of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and astrology. We spent a little time with two parts of ourselves that want different things. Then opened up Inner Orbit, an app I built so you can try this with your own birth chart and a question that matters to you.
What a birth chart can give you to work with
One of my favorite things about astrology is how specific it can get. Take Mercury in Pisces in the seventh house, a placement from my own chart. Mercury gives me a question about communication. How do I make sense of what I pick up on? Pisces suggests I might register something first as an image, an impression, or a feeling that takes a minute to put into words. The seventh house gives me somewhere to look for that experience, particularly in my close relationships.
Now I have a question I can actually take into my life. When I sense something unspoken between me and someone I love, what do I do with that impression? Do I ask about it? Do I quietly decide I know what they meant? What feels familiar to me there might feel entirely different to someone else with the same placement. That’s where the conversation gets good.
Inner Orbit takes this idea one step further by looking at squares. In astrology, a square is an angle of about 90 degrees between two planets in a birth chart. I read it as a place where two needs might be hard to meet at the same time. Through the lens of IFS, that gives me a question to explore. Do I recognize parts of myself living out a version of this tension?
Let both parts finish the sentence
Think back to that message. If you gave the part that wrote the first draft a chance to speak, it might say, I want someone to know what I actually want. I’m tired of saying everything’s fine and then feeling hurt when they believe me. The part doing the editing might have an equally good point. I care about this relationship. The last time we had this conversation, it took us days to find our way back to each other.
In IFS, we call it a polarization when two parts get caught in opposing roles like these. The more one insists, “Just say it,” the more urgently the other starts choosing each word. From the outside, all you see is a person taking twenty minutes to write a three-line text. On the inside, there’s a whole history of wanting to be heard and wanting to stay close.
Here’s a small piece of the guided practice I shared at the workshop. Bring to mind a recent moment when you felt pulled in two directions. Choose something you feel comfortable spending a minute with. Notice how each side shows up. One might have a lot to say. The other might be a tightness in your throat or an impulse to get up and do something else. Give each one a turn with the same question. What are you worried would happen if I let the other part decide?
Then notice how you feel toward the part you find harder to understand. Even a little genuine curiosity gives you a taste of what IFS calls Self, the compassionate presence in you that can listen to both. From there, a different sentence might become possible. I care about us, and there’s something I’d really like you to understand. Is now a good time? Both parts had a hand in writing that one.
Exploring your own Inner Orbit
I built Inner Orbit because I wanted you to be able to move from reading about a square to recognizing the moment it might describe in your own life. You enter your birth date, time, and city, then choose one square to explore. The app walks you through each planet’s sign and house and asks what you recognize. You can bring in a situation of your own, reflect on what each part might be protecting, and explore the gifts each could bring if it had a little more room.
If a description feels off, trust that. If one line makes you think, Oh, I do that every time my sister calls, start there. That particular phone call will teach you more about your parts than a perfectly worded interpretation ever could.
You can come to the live teaching or try this on your own. Either way, my invitation is the same. Bring one moment you keep replaying and get curious about what each part wanted for you in that moment. You might discover that the one you usually overrule has something worth keeping.
Explore your birth chart with Inner Orbit
Curious about the rest of your chart?
Inner Orbit starts with one square. In a one-on-one IFS and astrology reading, we’ll look at your chart as a whole and spend time with the question that brought you to it. Maybe you’re at a crossroads, or maybe you keep finding yourself in a familiar role in your relationships. Together, we’ll explore how that pattern shows up in your life, what the parts of you involved want you to understand, and what gifts you’d like to make more room for.
